2004-07-10 - 11:25 p.m.
What about the voices?
And where has Wolfdog gone? I haven't seen him in what feels like ages...But I just realized it tonight. Is he not allowed in these warm rooms, this small apartment of paper and books and painting and cats? Can he not find me, standing in the shower tracing patterns in the tiles anymore?
He's not in the shadows. Not laying under the table, no wolf tongue lolling out. No eyes peering from behind the steam on the bathroom mirror, no tail slipping away when I open the cabinets.
Not even in my dreams.
I haven't missed him.
I'm not sure if I'm glad he's gone or not though. But things aren't less magical. Just more red, less gray.
Familiarity is safe, and even when the familiar is bad, it is uncomfortable to lose it.
(do you realize)
Wolfdog and the pills were holding hands, I bet.
i'm dying to put a little sunshine in your life
