2004-09-22 - 3:12 p.m.
I can't go anywhere, can't look at anything without mixing paint in my head to recreate trees, people, this desk I sit at. I chant angrily whenever I see brown (edit to this entry: I am a DOLT and SECONDARY colors make brown and I feel like such a moron no wonder my browns were so gray). Finally. And I see that white houses are really green and yellow and blue and God forbid brown but I'm too afraid of white.
And now I'm thanking you for the day you hid my black pastel, the day you told me I'd never learn how to use color properly unless I stopped using black. You tossed the black stick in the back of someone's desk drawer. And now I don't need black or particularly want it and it's so sticky.
Why I am sitting in this library when I could be home, mixing colors on the kitchen table and getting angry and knowing you're probably laughing at me behind your serious patient teaching face?
Thank you.
(Second edit: "Brown is your new black." I guess this means we won't be buying brown paints anytime soon. UGH. Can I trade the burnt sienna for some cadmium, though?)
