2004-12-29 - 6:58 p.m.
pardon me while i burn
So, last night, a huge Important Event occurred. But first this quote: "No, I masturbate WITH potato chips."
See, when I left here to go visit the folks for Christmas, there was a pan in the sink. It had been rinsed out, and in my rush out the door, I forgot to wash it. Plus I had no clean dishrags. But no big deal, it was a pretty clean pan. It could wait.
Last night, when I got home from work I decided to do dishes. Lifting up the pan, I was HORRIFIED to discover a BOWL full of MOLDY NOODLES. Green and black mold resting on top of noodles from fuck knows when. They were all slimy and shit. I bet they were fermenting.
Ugh.
I went into normal twitchy germ mode. Wrapped my hand with several layers of paper towels, in order to pick up the bowl and dump the whole thing in the trash. With the bowl extended at arm's length something clicked in my brain. Perhaps it was my memory prodding me and reminding me that I only own two bowls. This de-germing ritual would cut my bowl ownership in half.
Then I thought about all of the belongings I have tossed because of the germ phobia. Even those of you who know me fairly well would be surprised at how many dishes and I don't know, socks, have ended up being trashed because I couldn't get the image of crawling micro-organisms out of my head.
So. I decided a critical moment had arrived. (drumroll inserted here) And I just dumped the contents. The CONTENTS, not the ENTIRE BOWL. So maybe the cleaning/disinfecting that followed was a little out of control. So maybe I'll never eat out of that bowl again, and it will be banished to a dark corner in the cabinet. So, maybe, just maybe, I can feel the bowl staring at me from the dish drainer across the room with evil germ-infested ceramic eyes with cruel fermentation abilities. BUT, look at me! I washed it and didn't throw it away!
I deserve a trophy or something.
Work really got at me today.
Good thing other things are happy.
and rise above the flames
