2005-02-12 - 9:46 a.m.
I don't know if I've ever been in an emotional place in my life where I am consistently happy.
I wake up and feel good daily. I've never worried less about the past or the future. What's the song, good old Badly Drawn, "where the past meets the future". That's fucking every minute.
I like right now. (So much.)
Did you know, by the way, that happiness is not shallowness? A depth to this exists that I didn't believe in. I experience happiness just as intensely as I do sadness or anger.
Part of me is afraid of jinxing it, afraid that I'll sabotage my healthy. Ugly ugly things. But so many of the ugly things are dead. I buried them myself.
So I think about right now.
Sometimes things feel so beautiful that I get completely overwhelmed and think my body's going to cave in from the pressure.
Like I could die from love of how the world keeps spinning beneath my feet and I can keep my hands in the air and I don't fucking fall off.
